


Before I Fall to Ruin

by Kate_Reid



Series: Never Be Your Curse [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack Treated Semi-Seriously, F/M, Gen, Yes Really, go-go dancer kylo ren, not what you'd expect from this kinda thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 01:30:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15426069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kate_Reid/pseuds/Kate_Reid
Summary: Despite all his rage, Kylo Ren dances in a cage.He’s swaying slowly and just looking out over the place when his shoulders nearly stutter to a halt. No. Over by the bar. It can’t be. Just when he’s committed the cardinal sin of thinking about the lyrics.





	Before I Fall to Ruin

**Author's Note:**

  * For [situation_normal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/situation_normal/gifts), [Flawless_Sorcerer_Supreme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flawless_Sorcerer_Supreme/gifts), [NoctisSicarius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctisSicarius/gifts).



> This takes place maybe a week or so after the previous story, [If Our Paths Forget to Cross](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15354603).
> 
> Cautiously rated Teen for language and a little bit of content. Please check the end notes to make sure you're okay with it.

Now with a super moodboard by [situation_normal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/situation_normal/works)!

 

Strictly speaking, it’s not really a cage--the top is open. But the sides are way over Kylo’s head. He could easily scale those sides, but he’s much too high up to make any sort of escape bid feasible. 

Tonight, though, his urge to escape is slightly less. He wouldn’t exactly say he was _enjoying_ himself in his 5x5 space, but it isn’t as bad as some Fridays. It’s some kind of nostalgia night, and the music playing includes stuff Kylo would actually listen to on his own.

Apparently, this was what Hux had meant when he’d slapped Kylo’s ass in the bathroom a couple hours ago, causing Kylo to smudge his mascara a little. Kylo had grunted a curse and the ginger had snorted derisively that tonight would be right up Kylo’s sad little trashy alley.

Kylo hates Hux for being right.

This was one of the best Fridays in a long time. He’s able to lose himself in a couple of the songs, moving entirely on autopilot. It’s always best when he can do that--pretend he’s not here. 

Kylo snorts a laugh when the next song begins with a familiarly distorted guitar intro. He rolls his hips slowly to the beat, raising his arms. Why yes, he’s certainly the son and the heir of _something_ criminally vulgar, but he’s absolutely sure that it’s not shyness. Nobody who’d met either of his parents would say that.

It’s a good thing that nobody can really see his sarcastic smirk up here, ten-plus feet above the dance floor. Both Snoke and Hux told him that that was best for a butterface like him, that his body was gorgeous but his head spoiled it. Up here, his body could be admired, but his unusual facial features remained obscured. Tonight, he wore stretchy black leather-look bondage pants and no shirt but a black harnessy thing that was just an arrangement of criss-crossed straps over his chest.

He spares a glance down at the crowd. It’s really been a rich pageant tonight--aging goths still dressed up in their finest gloomy attire right alongside kids he’s sure have benefited from First Order’s extremely lax doormen. Snoke has to have paid someone off--Kylo is sure that at least a third of the people here tonight are underage.

Still moving slinkily as that classic guitar line fades out, he continues to watch the patrons-- _guests,_ Hux would have him call them. 

He smiles to himself over the next song, too. It’s his favorite by this group. The beginning is slow, so he takes a moment to rest himself, only moving his shoulders slowly. He has to keep moving; he’s come to know that any sort of pause would earn him a nasty rebuke later. So he’s learned to sort of cheat this way--give his legs a rest while moving his upper body; give his shoulders a break while he shakes his hips. 

He’s swaying slowly and just looking out over the place when his shoulders nearly stutter to a halt. No. Over by the bar. It can’t be. Just when he’s committed the cardinal sin of thinking about the lyrics. 

_Oh, no._

He hates himself so hard in that moment. Because all he can think is how much her optimistic eyes had seemed like paradise to him.  
She’s ordering drinks and gesturing to the people with her and actually coaxing a smile out of Unamo--who _does_ that?!

Her sweet expression of thanks for the drinks that Unamo lines up on the bar makes Kylo want to take her in his arms.

The beat picks up, and he watches her call her friends over and hand out various glasses to a pretty Asian woman with bangs, a dark-skinned man whose smile appears brilliant even from up here, another man with shiny dark curls, and a perky brunette with her hair tied up in knots on both sides of her head. All four of her friends laugh and smile with her, and he longs to be within that small, happy circle.

His Subway Princess is just a few feet below him, and he can’t bear it, especially when the song ends and the tempo picks up, and he has to watch her giggle and grab the man with the bright smile when the next song starts, dragging him out onto the dance floor and twirling madly. 

Oh, wait. Kylo dances above her, on that dizzy edge, as she relinquishes Mr. Smile to the lovely woman whose bangs and dark ponytail fly as Mr. Smile dips her and kisses her. As Kylo watches, his Princess dances deliriously with each of her friends in turn, but it’s clear that Mr. Smile is with Ms. Ponytail and Mr. Dark Curls is with Ms. Two Knots. 

_So, his Subway Princess is playing fifth wheel tonight, then._

Without thinking, he shifts his rhythm to move to the electronic bassline that starts the next song, and he wills himself to look away from the merry little band out on the dance floor. 

He’d swear the song was scolding him if he didn’t know better. Here he is right now, living a life that he can’t leave behind. But every time he thinks of her, he wants to, and his confusion grows, and it’s so ridiculous, because he’s only ever really had one and a half conversations with her.

But he’d known that when he’d seen her falling, he’d prayed to whatever part of the universe he still believed in that she wouldn’t be hurt. 

He nearly stops then, but moves on, still not missing a beat. He loves this sometimes, and right this minute, he adores the feeling of dancing for her without her even knowing it. Kylo lets everything else fall away.

And now, he’s hovering over her head, feeling like he doesn’t deserve to and never should. But all he wants is to see what he and his Subway Princess-- _Rey_ \--are meant to be.

*******

At the end of the night, after everyone’s been shooed out the doors and the bright, ugly lights come on, hydraulics lower Kylo’s cage to the floor and he’s finally free, mopping sweat from his brow, snatching and chugging the bottle of water an eager Mitaka holds out to him, pouring the dregs over his already-soaked hair. 

Kylo stops in the back only long enough to throw on a t-shirt over his harness, so that he won’t be kicked off the subway. He grabs his bag and pushes his way out the back door.

He sits on the train, his earbuds jammed in, his music at full blast. At least he knows she won’t be here. He hadn’t actually seen her leave the club, but he was glad she hadn’t seen him. She’s probably eating bad late-night food somewhere with her friends.

Even though he wasn’t expecting her, he exhales anyway; he was full of explanations he desperately wanted to give, but wasn’t ready to. As pleased as he is that she didn’t see him up there writhing in his cage, he’s relieved, too; he can’t bear to hurt someone else.

**Author's Note:**

> There is no violence or overt coercion, but it's implied that Kylo is not dancing in the cage entirely of his own free will.
> 
> Thank you to [situation_normal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/situation_normal/works), whose clear-headed commentary on this helped reassure me that I was Doing It Right and getting across what I wanted. Thank you also to [Flawless_Sorcerer_Supreme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flawless_Sorcerer_Supreme), whose encouragement and love of 80s music made this so much fun to write. <3 you both! And thank you to [NoctisSicarius](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctisSicarius) who asked for more even without knowing that this was a thing. Bless you, mysterious reader.
> 
> The songs Kylo dances to (and from whose lyrics I stole):
> 
> "How Soon Is Now?" by The Smiths. I've wanted to use that "son and heir" line for aaaaaages!  
> "Black Celebration" by Depeche Mode. Some time ago, Lyssa pointed out that this is Kylo's favorite Depeche Mode song. Because of course.  
> "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure. I just love the idea of Rey and her friends doing a silly little happy dance to this song.  
> "Bizarre Love Triangle" by New Order. This has been on my Reylo playlist from the start. Rey is scowling at me because I mentioned her little fall again.
> 
>  
> 
> [Come say hello!](https://calledalaska.tumblr.com)


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